It’s that time again. Now while I don’t play FF, I do play a game where we need team names. Here I will list my top my ideas for the 2008-2009 Football Season

• Alabaster Ass Blasters
• Napa Valley Cork Soakers
• Mighty Moose Knuckles
• Nappy Headed Hoes
• Sara’s Nightly Fantasy
• Chi-town Chicken ‘pons
• Throwin D’s, Smackin B’s
• Wahlquist Motorboat Club

Feel free to submit your own ideas

Prize: TBD

Without further ado, I bring you the AL East Preview….

1.  I’m going to out on a limb here and say the Tampa Bay Rays are going to win the division.  I really think Evan Longoria is going to emerge into an All-Star in his first year and the rotation should be solid with Kazmir, Shields and Matty Garza.  Hell, I’ll even say they are going to flirt with the best record in MLB for awhile.  They are that good.  Joe Maddon will win the Manager of the Year award.

2.  New York Yankees - This team will probably struggle in the first half of the year until they finally realize they are all getting paid WAY too much and will turn it around near the All-Star Break.  Jorge Posada will probably get hurt, but the Yanks always find a way to make a deal.  They’ll probably go out and get a replacement like Pudge Rodriguez or something.  Two more predictions:  A-Rod will get divorced because he’s been messing around with Madonna and Jason Giambi will grow a wicked ’stache.  (You can actually see the steroids rippling in his veins….gross)

3.  Boston Red Sox - A year removed from another world championship, this team will have a disappointing year by their standards by finishing a game out of the wild card spot.  I predict too many disruptions.  Manny will be Manny and will take the focus off the team onto himself.  He will force a trade and the Sox will gladly oblige, sending him packing for a guy like Jason Bay.  Although a guy like Bay is good, he is not Manny Ramirez.  Boston will not recover and will slide a touch after the deadline.  Oh yeah, David Ortiz will be hurt for most of the first half of the season.

4.  Baltimore Orioles - George Sherril…who?  This guy will dominate as a closer in his first year with the team after being traded by the Mariners for the disappointing Erik Bedard (who will be hurt in Seattle).  Exceeding expectations, this team will be excited heading into 2009.

5.  Toronto Blue Jays - Roy Halladay is good (I’d say 7 complete games by the All-Star break and another 4 after).  The rest of the team is not good.

theFlash looks like he’s on record pace for postings today, so I better jump in an make one.  Back in March I gave you my American League predictions (I only did this because theFlash is still working on his AL East preview write-up).  Here’s what I predicted, compared to the actual standings.

I was completely incorrect about Matt Garza and those Rays, the Indians, Twins and White Sox.  The only teams I was really close on are the Angels and Red Sox.  There’s still 1/4 or so of the season left.  Should get interesting.

How sweet was the Twins game last night? Although I was a little disappointed the team didn’t make a move at the trade deadline, at least they were able to take 3 of 4 from the division leading White Sox and pull to within 0.5 games. I really don’t know how this team keeps winning. If I’m the other team’s manager, I would never, ever pitch to “Jason” Morneau with runners in scoring position (unless the bases were loaded and you had to). I’d make the rest of team beat you. This guy is on quite the tear right now. He hits pretty much anything thrown near the strike zone; inside, he’ll jack a HR or double; outside, single up the middle or squirted to left. Unbelievable is all I can say. Two more things and I’ll be done. One, how much longer until Hernandez is given his walking papers and Mr. Liriano is called up? Enough already! Get better from within if you are not going to make a trade. Two, KUBEL SMASH!!!! 

PictureMeRollin…

theFlash

Wow….Steve Nash can really do the robot.

For all of you that opted not to attend the 2nd Rick Rickert Golf Outing of 2008, you fucking missed out.

Once again I took 2nd place, but I would say that the most entertaining part was the group of kids behind us.  Whether they were hitting Chelsey’s ball or hitting on Chelsey or telling us amazing stories of their lives or hitting us with “That’s what she said,” these kids made our 7 holes much more entertaining.   The course was entertaining.  The participants were fantastic.  Hopefully next time I can come in first.

It appears that those giddy little Brewers fans are headed towards another playoff-less season.  After Tuesday’s loss they’re 3 games behind the Cubs and only a game ahead of the Cards for the wildcard.  This is really their only good year to make a run.

And the website Pee Your Pants for the Brewers could be the gayest thing ever created.  Gay.  It’s nice to see people getting excited about making the playoffs.  PLAYOFFS!!?!?!!  PLAYOFFS!?!??!?!  Instead of peeing their pants, maybe they should do some good and create good karma for the team.  Like….not drink shitty beer for a whole weekend….or not get drunk and shot the lawnmower…..

From the Milwaukee JS

Milwaukee man shoots lawn mower when it won’t start
He faces felony charge of possessing short-barreled shotgun
By Crocker Stephenson
July 25, 2008

A 57-year-old south side man, who might have been struggling with a hangover, was charged Friday with shooting his lawn mower with a sawed-off shotgun.

“I’ll tell you the truth,” a criminal complaint quotes an apparently inebriated Keith Walendowski. “I got pissed because my lawn mower wouldn’t start, so I got my shotgun and shot it.

“I can do that. It’s my lawn mower and my yard, so I can shoot it if I want,” Walendowski told police.

Ignorance of the law, however, is not a legal defense.

Walendowski is charged with a felony count of possessing a short-barreled shotgun and a misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct while armed. If convicted of both charges, he faces up to six years and nine months in prison.

The shooting occurred Wednesday at a home Walendowski shares with his mother in the 3500 block of S. Austin St.

According to the complaint, Walendowski had been drinking all morning. Around 9:30 a.m., he attempted to start his 21-inch Lawn-Boy — unsuccessfully.

After shooting the mower, he went in his basement, where he was arrested by police, the complaint says.

Police recovered the shotgun, shells, a handgun, rounds for the handgun and a stun gun.

Dick Wagner of Wagner’s Garden Mart, 6075 N. Green Bay Ave.in Glendale, said shooting the mower didn’t help Walendowski’s odds of getting it repaired.

“Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty,” he said.

I’m watching the Dark Knight flick.  I’m 40 minutes in and seriously considering not watching the rest.  I’m as bored as a pedophile in an old folks home.  My parents raised me to not be a quiter, so I guess I’ll try to watch it to the end.

F’n bored.  Starting falling asleep an hour and fifty minutes in….i give it a 2.

I know these are from last year, but they are still funny.  And Dane Cook is still a douchebag.  The NLCS is better.

For those who haven’t heard, Johnny Jolly, the giant defensive lineman for the Packers was arrested a few weeks back for having over 200 grams of liquid codeine.  First off, I have no idea how much 200 grams of a liquid is, so I thought this was no big deal.  We then found out that it was found in his soda bottle during a traffic stop.  Awesome. If you weren’t born on the streets, you might not know that we have a term for this drink.  Purple Drank, but can also go by sizzurp, lean, syrup, drank, and purple stuff (different from the purple stuff in the Sunny D commercials).  So why am I writing about this? Because of the amazing pictures that result if you do a Google Image search for purple drank.

*Rickety Rickert does not promote drug use, or purple stuff use.

Why the fuck does NBA Summer League basketball exist?!?  The damn season doesn’t start until September!!  Next, lets look at some of the players on the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Drew Neitzel - At least he was good in college, but I don’t see any NBA potential, unless a team is looking for a John Stockton.

Pooh Jeter - Who?

Longar Longar - Yeah, seriously.  And Minnesota is listed as his college.  I don’t recall him being on the Gopher’s roster, maybe he played for Winona.

Vincent Grier - I liked Vincent at Minnesota.  He got us into the NCAA Tourney for the first time since 1947.  He got us there on his ability to drive the basket and make incredibly ugly shots.  BUT HE HAS NO JUMP SHOT!

Dan Coleman - I hate Dan Coleman.  He wasn’t a leader at Minnesota.  He has a terrible shot.  He doesn’t play with emotion.  He sucks.

Dan Fitzgerald - We know that Kevin McHale loves slow white players.  But seriously, this is a lanky slow white basketball player.  Perfect for Euroland.

This is just looking at one team, check these other people playing in the Summer League.

Speedy Claxton (great name), Brian Randle (Illinois), Pape Sow (huh?), Errick Craven (a new way to spell Eric), Scooter McFadgon, Ndudi Ebi (FUCKING IBI DIBI IS PLAYING!!), JamesOn Curry (is it pronounced like Jameson or JAMES-on?), James Augustine (ex-Illini, won’t play in the NBA), D’or Fischer (D’or, like Dior?), Antywane Robinson (Anti-wan?  That’s not a name)

What has 1 thumb and would love to have a 3-some with Will Smith and Vin Diesel??

This Guy

It appears the same little boy has a barnyard animal fetish.

And look at what he wore to the first day of school.

If I had pictures like this, I probably wouldn’t display them proudly on the internets.  Thanks Prune.

18 points.  13 rebounds

The Real Deal

Don’t Hate McNamara